Thank Heavens.

“Oh, thank heavens!”

The other day as I was reading, I actually thought twice about that phrase.

I was reading this post by Eric Rees (Dad of Jessie Rees, the little girl who lit the flame for the Jessie Rees Foundation. A portion of the profits made from my book, Because He Loved Me, are donated to this organization. This post that he wrote is to Jessie, who passed away from cancer.), and he said something that hit me:

“Recently a father who has a son with you asked me why I felt so confident in seeing you again. I mentally paused for a moment because I didn’t want to sound preachy at all. So I just said, ‘I miss Jessie so much it hurts every breath I take but I have to live with hope so I can help others and honor her life today. So I choose to believe with everything I have that Heaven is real. I just can’t fathom that the picture I have burned into my soul of Jessie broken, taking her last breath and then being wheeled out of the house covered in a sheet will never be replaced by a happy, healthy and healed body in Heaven.’”

This reminded me of my grandma who passed away earlier this year. I miss her. And it feels like the more time passes the more I miss her. I wish she could see me now. How I’ve grown. How I’ve changed. Who I’ve become. Who I’m becoming. I like to think that she’d be proud.

As much as I’d love to have my grandma meet my future husband, approve of him, and tell me I chose well. As much as I’d love her to meet my future children that will be here and thriving because of her life and her legacy. As much as I’d love to hug her one more time and hear her laugh. As much as I honestly just miss her, I know I’m going to see her again. It’s not over. She’s still alive, she’s just not here. She’s home. And the fact that someday we’ll be home together really overwhelmed me. So much so, that I stopped dead in my tracks and thanked God for heaven.

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